A funny thing happened...

at Target.

So I have told this story to some...but now it's time to tell of my irresitble charm and physique...

The other day I made an emergency run to Target for some OJ and Milk. Nothing unusual...just a quick run. I make my selections and head toward the front of the store. It was later at night and at Target they only have like 2 registers open so sometimes you have to stand in line. As I approached my selected line, I notice a man in front of me, he too seemed to be making some 'emergency' purchases and had all of his items in one of those handheld baskets...you know the ones that never seem to balance correctly therefore making them very difficult to hold and in reality end up hurting your hands if you put anything in them...

Well the line began to dwindle and now there were only three of us, the person being checked out...this man in a kind of red/rust colored hooded sweatshirt, and me. All of a sudden he starts...it was almost like the light bulb turned on and he exclaimed..."Aw, crap" promptly picked up his handheld basket and walked away. I didn't think much of it and stepped forward replace his position in line. The lady in front me now was paying for her items, and I began to prepare for the small talk that inevitably is about to come from the cashier...when all of a sudden I am greeted with two petite hands placed firmly on my buttocks...a squeeze ensued.

Knowing for a fact that my lovely wife Jenn had not come to the store with me, nor has she surprised me with a supporting visit to the store...I whirled around...a young 20-something with dark brown hair and lovely eyes (I know they were lovely because at this point they were about as big as saucers)...was quickly removing her petite hands from my buttocks and she was turning a violent shade of red...similar to her boyfriends hoody and my jacket.

After several seconds of absolute petrified silence...she let out a "Oh-my-gosh" and proceeded throw out about as many apologies as I have ever heard in my life. With a big grin...I responded...that's okay...happens all the time...

See I am irresistible.